Tips and Tricks for Easing Your Child’s Separation Anxiety

Separation anxiety can be challenging for both children and parents—but you’re not alone in facing it. As pediatricians, we frequently help families navigate this emotional stage. From tearful daycare drop-offs to clingy mornings at preschool, separation anxiety can feel overwhelming. The good news? With the right approach—preparation, consistency and plenty of care—this phase can become more manageable for everyone involved.

To help, we’ve created a simple guide that explains separation anxiety by age and shares practical tips to boost your child’s confidence and make goodbyes a little easier.

What is Separation Anxiety?

Separation anxiety occurs when a child becomes distressed over being apart from their caregiver, and it can manifest in various ways depending on their age. It is a developmental milestone that reflects a meaningful attachment and a growing awareness of the world. While it’s a sign of healthy bonding, these intense emotions can disrupt daily routines and create challenges for both parent and child.

Understanding the Stages of Separation Anxiety.

For infants (around 9 months and older), separation anxiety often begins after they develop “object permanence,” or the understanding that things (including you!) still exist even when out of sight. This realization can make their world feel less secure when you’re not around. Anxiety tends to peak if they’re hungry, tired or not feeling well.

While toddlers (15-18 months and older) may skip separation anxiety in infancy, they can experience it as they grow more independent and aware. Their reactions are usually loud, tearful and hard to stop. Like with infants, it can be worse when they’re hungry, sick or tired.

Preschoolers (3+ years) may cry or protest at separation to test boundaries. That said, their distress is still real. Remaining consistent is key.

Tips for Surviving Separation Anxiety

While every child is unique, the following strategies can help create smoother separations and minimize anxiety:

• Quick, confident and consistent goodbyes make all the difference. A lengthy, emotional farewell only prolongs your child’s distress. Stick to a simple ritual—like a hug, a quick “I love you” and out the door you go.
• Children thrive on routine, and knowing what to expect adds a sense of security. Aim for the same drop-off time and ritual every day. Establishing predictability helps both of you feel prepared for the separation.
• Before starting childcare, preschool or a new caregiver arrangement, practice short separations. Whether it’s leaving them with a trusted family member for an hour or organizing a playdate, these experiences help your child learn they’re safe even when you’re not around.
• Provide specifics in simple terms your child understands. For example, instead of saying, “I’ll be back in a few hours,” say, “I’ll see you right after naptime.” For longer absences, like a work trip, count time in “sleeps” to make it more tangible.
• Family and friends can be wonderful resources in helping ease separation anxiety. Take advantage of their offers to babysit or host playdates. This helps your child socialize and acclimate to other trusted figures caring for them.
• It’s tempting to give in when your child is clinging to you in tears, but consistency is key. Returning immediately after you’ve left or skipping an outing to comfort them sends mixed signals. Trust that they’ll calm down quickly and look forward to your return.

While most children outgrow separation anxiety, extended struggles may require additional guidance. If the anxiety persists or begins disrupting family life, speaking with one of our pediatricians can provide valuable strategies and peace of mind.

You’re Not Alone

Separation anxiety is temporary, but your child’s growing confidence will last a lifetime. By staying consistent, keeping transitions short and building trust in your return, you’re empowering your child with the tools they need to thrive—both with you and without you.

Our compassionate pediatric team is dedicated to supporting families through life’s transitions. If separation anxiety feels overwhelming, we’re here to help provide resources, expert advice and a listening ear.